Archive for the ‘General’ Category

My Summer as a Stay-At-Camp Mom

Posted on: September 13th, 2011 by Cori

Suffice to say, the summer didn’t go as planned and I ended up spending 95% of it as Sara’s personal social director, instead of spending any time on my own career. Away with my husband at a sleep away camp in CT while he did a consulting project, we got to do some great things: swimming nearly every day, sailing, tennis, and Sara’s new fave, bungee trampolining.  But work on this blog? Solicit new marketing clients? Network? Forget about it.

At first, it was beyond challenging. With our babysitter back at home in Brooklyn I knew I’d be spending more hours as “mom,” but we had anticipated being able to leave Sara in a special camp program for kids of camp staff in the mornings while I powered through my to-do lists. But for various reasons, that didn’t work out, and I was left holding the proverbial childcare bag.

I cried at least once a day for the first two weeks. Nothing was going as expected, I was too tired at night to get much work done, there was no cell service and did I mention our rental house had mice?! It’s not that I didn’t like spending time with Sara, I love it, but I was meant to be working, like I did at home, and I spent those first stressful days trying to do everything.

A few weeks later Sara and I left camp for a few days for a prearranged visit to some friends at the beach. My friend, who is a great mom and great at her job was pulling her hair out. After being at the beach alone with her two young kids for several days she felt totally undone, and was commenting that there was no way she could be a stay at home mom. I told that of course she could, but that in order to do so, she needed to let go of her professional self in a way that vacations didn’t have enough time to allow.

That’s when the light bulb went on about my summer. I needed to embrace MOMhood in a different way.  I was being handed a gift of sorts, the chance to spend the summer hanging out with my daughter and husband in a way that doesn’t happen back in the “real world.” So I put my work down, knowing that it might suffer but that keeping myself sane was more important than attempting to work and provide full time care in the woods of CT.

And you know what? I had a great rest of the summer, and certainly so did Sara. We did tons of fun things at camp, visited some friends who had vacation homes near by, and just enjoyed spending time with each other. Gary was working, but since he was working at camp, we got to spend time with him during the days including eating lunch with him every day! Even though there were stresses (um, bats in our rooms necessitating rabies shots for all three of us! yes, if you are keeping score that’s mice and bats!) it was less stressful than being at home.

I’m not sure that I would want to be a stay at home mom, but I know I could, and as I sit here working, while Sara is off with the sitter and we get back to our routine I’m filled with mixed emotions. I’m thrilled to be engaged professionally again, but I have to admit, I miss her, and miss our days together.

Memory is a Tricky Fellow

Posted on: April 12th, 2011 by Cori

I have a good memory. I used to have a great memory – there was little that escaped the filing cabinet between my ears- and then I grew up and had a child and new mommy brain moved in and unpacked. At that point, if it wasn’t written down on my “list,” forgettaboutit! It was the little tasks that left me at a loss though, not actual memories of things, places, people (except for my completely blocking out memories of 90% of my childhood, but that’s another type of entry!!).

But I found myself in the early (and not so early) days of motherhood, wishing for an “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” type of memory cleanse. Parenthood was (is!) amazing, but in my sleep deprived haze, where “sleeping in” meant 7:00 am and not 9:00 am, I truly wished that I could not remember life pre-Sara. To not think longingly of lazy weekend mornings, lounging in bed, dining in pjs, puttering around, ah, that seemed like such a gift. Spontaneous drinks or movies out, how I thought so lovingly of thee. Choosing my schedule because it fit my needs and wants, ah, those were good times. And I wanted no recollection of any of it.

As the days and weeks and months passed, I wondered how long it would be – if ever – that those memories would no longer be at the forefront. Well, I have an answer. Three years. Yes, Sara recently celebrated the completion of her third year on this planet, and I realized that while I still remember what life was life before she came on the scene, it definitely, finally falls in to the distant memory camp. Sure, some weekend mornings when we hear her stirring, I wish I could roll over and go back to sleep, but just as often I am up anyway and ready to start the day. On vacations, breakfasting in pj’s feels like a lovely indulgence, instead of something routine. Movies are for date night, and going for drinks too often just makes functioning the next day harder.

Our life, our schedule with her, it is the new normal. And I wouldn’t change a thing (well … except teaching her that the time to wake up is 8:00 and not 7:00 … maybe when she is four).

 

Embracing “Mom” Means Redefining Me

Posted on: November 10th, 2010 by Cori

Some girls know from an early age they want to be moms. They play with baby dolls, Barbie dolls, younger siblings, pretending to be moms, orchestrating the daily movements of their little charges.  And as they grow up, go to school, take jobs, travel, wherever their paths take them, they know without a shadow of a doubt that becoming a mom is something they will do.

I was not one of those girls. I spent the requisite amount of time with Barbie and baby dolls, and loved children, but never saw motherhood in my future. When I met my husband, we were both old enough that I thought “yippee, hopefully he is beyond the point of wanting children.” I was wrong.

Flash forward a few years. We’re happy newlyweds, and having been laid off from what I considered my dream job, I’ve decided to go entrepreneur and create a board game about food and chefs, Celebrity Chef! The Game.  Professionally I am exactly where I want to be. Life is great, and I am so in love with my honey that we decide to try and make a baby.

Looking at it practically, as someone who was only a few months away from the launch of her first product, we decided to start trying in late August, our calculus was it would take at least two-three months of trying before anything would happen. Then I’d be pregnant for nine months, giving me almost a year of “uninterrupted entrepreneurialness” before any baby would be on the scene. We’d figure out the rest of the game plan then.

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